GLitching
by an REG Omega
Summary: UNSC Smart AI's are functional for seven years. Then they start having... problems...


**Glitching**

John-117 and two other Spartans sat in a circle (well, more of a triangle) in the middle of the forest, polishing their guns.

"So anyway," Cortana began, "I've been listening in to the Covenant Battle Net. They've been sending the-" Cortana stopped mid-sentence.

"Yes?" the Master Chief asked.

For just an instant, his HUD flashed blue with white text. A low beat could now be heard.

MC tapped his helmet, confused.

"Cortana?"

He now heard... _music_. A phone ringing. He looked around to see if either of his fellow Spartans heard it, but they were still cleaning their weapons.

_Boop a doop a doop_

_Boop a doop a doop_

_What the heck? _He thought.

_Ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring_

_Banana phone!_

"What is this?" he asked.

_Ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring_

"What is what?" Kelly-087 asked.

_Banana phone!_

"This song."

_I've got this feeling_

"What song?"

_So appealing_

"The song playing."

_For us to get together and sing, sing!_

"Listen," Kelly said, "I have no idea what you're talking about, okay?"

John shook his head. "Whatever. Just turn it down, would you?"

"Sure, pal, I'll get right on that." Kelly resumed cleaning her weapon.

_Ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring_

_Banana phone!_

John snorted. "Banana phone? What the fuck?"

_Ding-dong-ding-dong-ding-dong-ding_

_Danana phone!_

Fred joined in. "Banana phone?"

"This song is fuckin' crazy."

_It grows in bunches_

_I've got my hunches_

"What song?" James asked.

John stared. "Well, don't ask her, she's being a dick."

"You know," Kelly said, "sometimes you try too hard."

_It's the best, beats the rest!_

_**Cellular, modular, interactivodular**_

_**Ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring**_

_**Banana phone!**_

"Okay, it's funny, but seriously, turn it down. The covies will find us."

"Is this some kind of really crappy prank?"

_**Ping-pong-ping-pong-ping-pong-ping**_

_**PANANA PHONE!**_

John-117 clutched the sides of his helmet. "Shit, SHIT! Okay, seriously! They'll be all over us!"

_**It's no bologna! It ain't a phony!**_

Kelly scowled. "Oh, so you want the mystery music turned down then? Do it yourself, you fuckin' moron!"

_**My cellular bananular phone!**_

John reached down and adjusted the volume control on his radio, but it only got louder.

_**Don't need quarters, don't need dimes to call a friend of mine!**_

"Okay, guys," John said, "this is seriously weird."

_**Don't need computer or TV to have a real good time!**_

"I'm freaking out, man!"

_**I'll call for pizza! I'll call my cat!**_

-------------------------------------------------

** TEN HOURS LATER **

John-117 sat with his back against a tree, bobbing back and forth in a trance. Kelly and James had since left. The music blared in his ears and he was drooling uncontrollably in his helmet. After an eternity, the music stopped mid-note and his HUD went blue, displaying a message in white letters.

**WAC**

**A total FU exception has occurred in your area. All system functionality will now cease. To power cycle the system, press any key. If this does not work, scream at top of lungs and pound keyboard with fist.**

**Press any key to continue.**

John-117 reared forward and whacked his head against the tree with full force, cracking his visor. He slumped on his side and passed out. Two grunts at the top of the hill gulped, seeing the demon.

"Holy crap!" one squeaked. The other red-armored grunt walked over to the demon and poked it with a stick.

"Is it dead?"

"Me no think so. Get Master."

"Why it do that? It hurted itself."

The red-armored grunt tried to roll the demon over. Upon touching it, the grunt received a static shock. It pounced back, looked around in confusion, and rubbed its ear.

"What's that song?"

"What song?"

"The song playing."

"Me no know what you talking about, me hear no song."

And there you have it! The Halo version of the classic Internet cartoon. For those of you who have never seen the original... well... yeah.

What can I say? I felt like doing something off the wall for once.


End file.
